Era Dating Articles
Today, technology has come along way that it even reaches the hearts of the many people living in the computer world. What do I mean? Love can be found anywhere and everywhere, even on the internet.
It is a fact that in some part of our life we had a lot of crushes. However, most of the people who are in love are afraid of expressing their feelings to the one they want to be with. In addition, because of this feeling of shyness, they do not want to show what they feel about that person and even too awkward to speak with him or her. For most people, they find writing and internet chatting more comfortable than talking to the person by face. Now with Internet dating, it somewhat helps many people to express their feelings online. However, for most of the people who are looking for someone to love online, will always ask: Can you find your true love in the internet online dating?
Have you ever watched the movie “You’ve Got Mail"? The movie was acted by Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan and its objective is to help the viewers believe that true love can be found online. This is a love story where in two people always have a conversation with the use of the computer and telephone as a connection. The conversation is done through Instant Messaging and through e-mail. Then eventually they fell in love with each other. This method of chatting or conversing with other people through instant message or e-mail is called Internet Dating.
Internet Dating simply means meeting someone online and sharing anything about yourself that can be done through chatting and sending e-mails. However, many of the lovers are hesitant to do online dating because of its effectiveness. Am I talking to an honest person? Is he telling the truth? Is he really a charming guy? These are most of the questions that doubts the effectiveness of Internet Dating.
Below are the tips on how to have an effective online dating:
Personal Information is still the most important intangible that needs to be secured. Never disclose your last name, your home address and work address. Do not trust a person right away do not give your personal information especially if you are not yet comfortable to the person whom you are talking with. Remember, you are looking for a friend or a lover and not a stalker.
To have an enjoying interaction, it is important to have a sense of humor. Use this style when chatting. Always, share stories that she or he might laugh with, share comedy movies and always start your conversation with a joke.
Probably the most important tip is always talk topics that you like both, talk about your common interest and interesting stories.
Share your picture that is pleasant to the eye of the viewer. It will be a big turn off, if you provide unpleasant photos. You should make sure that the picture is a clear and a close up shot and no one else in there except you.
Happy ending starts with honesty. You should be honest on everything you will say and everything about you. If you have been lying from the beginning, the truth will always come out".
Internet Dating starts when you browse someone’s profile online. Then, eventually, you will find a person that will have your same interest. That is when you will start sending e-mails or instant messages in introducing yourself. This will somewhat solve your problem of expressing yourself and eliminates your shyness and fear of being rejected. And in the end you’ll be one of those lucky in love.
Truly, love moves in mysterious ways. Two people at different sides of the world have found themselves walking in the aisle and saying I do’s after dating in the net.
Don't you secretly admire handsome, distinguished looking gentlemen exuding their personality? Don't you just adore men with a great sense of dress, with a charm to match? Almost all women do! It takes years of experience to polish an average man's image to make him look suave and sophisticated. And dressing up is one of the most important aspects of this image building.
So, whether you are at the workplace, facing an interview or with your woman, it is pretty important to be properly attired. You would be amazed to know that nonverbal elements, like your body language, clothing, grooming and accessories can swing a hiring decision in your favor or enhance your promotional prospects at the workplace. People make amazing assumptions about your potential based on your appearance during the first meeting itself. Even women notice every little thing about you. It matters to them, whether your hair are washed and styled, your fingernails are clean and manicured, your clothes are neat and shoes polished, and you smell nice. For them cleanliness and neatness counts! So, first impressions in any scenario matter a lot. A poor first impression will brand you forever and prove extremely difficult to overcome afterwards, regardless of your standing and competence.
Look Your Best
Now who better than a woman to tell you how to look your best! Lana has spent almost two decades in beauty and fashion industry to give you a total image makeover. For example, if you are appearing for an interview, she will help you select the right apparel, fragrance, hairstyle, and the like that is in sync with your professional image. She has the expert's eye to help you project yourself in the most positive manner at the workplace or in an interview. On the romantic front, she knows what your girl would expect from you. For instance, you might think the smell of your sweat is manly and sexy, but most women would strongly disagree! Leave it to Lana to guide you on how to groom and polish yourself to enhance your image.
A sampling of her advice for a date would convince you that Lana is worth a call or a visit. She reiterates that when it comes to men, russian women are most discerning. So, if you're going out specifically to meet your ladylove for the first time or on a blind date, be sure to take some extra time getting ready. Make sure your hair is done properly, your nails are filed and cleaned, your teeth are brushed and you wear a hint of cologne (remember, women have sharp noses!). In other words, your woman will respond to the image you present. Lana helps you in figuring out what this image is. Based on what image you presently portray, she will recommend the necessary changes. Not only this, she will take you through the steps to help attain all round perfection by honing you body language, refining your dress sense and other essential etiquettes. She, single lady, will also ensure that you act the part that you ultimately project. After she is done with you and has given you a complete personality overhaul, you will automatically start taking pride in how you look and instantly improve your chances of success!
Tired of being taken for granted? Sick of being taken for a ride? Well, the fault could begin in the way you interact with people. It could well be possible that you start any interaction appearing to be meek, over-polite and faint-hearted; giving the impression to others that this guy can easily be trod upon.
Its time you learn how, where and when to draw the line. It's always good to appear tough on the outside with a soft core, rather than the opposite. Start firm; loosen later, so that people are abundantly clear that you are truly a no-nonsense person.
Set your own standards of expectations from people. How much of what do you exactly want from people? One of man's biggest fears in interacting with others is the "fear of rejection". But once you make it clear about what values you stand for and what you expect, people start taking you seriously.
They stop messing around with you, your privacy and you life in general. For instance, when a woman hurts your sentiments, say firmly or let her know in as many words that you are ready for such nonsense. Either she amends her ways or let's call it quits. Even if she quits, she will regard you and leave in grace.
Next important thing in life is to have a mission. An objective, an aim, that you live for, you work towards. This focus in life really sets the balance and does not let even a moment of your life go waste. Imagine the lives of some great men who walked this planet.
How is it that they did not have problems with women? Simply because they were adding value to their own lives and to the world at large, everyday of their lives, through their sole mission. And this focus and aim, truly attract worthy ukrainian women.
Take some time off for yourself and do a recap of the past, your present and where you want to go. What this life means to you. What are you going to leave behind, when you are no longer there? It's not difficult to imagine.
You need not climb the Mount Everest, or take a solo engine flight across Atlantic, or for that matter be a great philanthropic soul - create hundreds of hospitals for the poor; its far more simpler than that - like creating a stable and loving family, or taking a step towards eradication of social abuse in your own neighborhood! Believe me; these attributes in a man are simply irresistible to single women.
Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.
Building an effective and lasting relationships is a necessity for several reasons. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.
The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management.
An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating.An effective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown. People or other entities who depend on these groups or organization also suffer. Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achievea common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships. Understanding the other parties' feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them
Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice.
Respect is the key to relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect.We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.
The opposite of respect is quick forming of judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice. Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.
Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives.
Work towards a win-win solution for both parties.
This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party's needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.
Effectively listening and no pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other.
Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.
Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.
When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.
Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship.Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party's feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.
Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say 'No man is an Island'. That is the relationship advice for keeping effective and efficient relatiosnhip on its place long time.
In the beginning of the internet all you had was text, Then graphics and photos followed. The reason online dating sites have been so popular and successful is you can easily browse photos of prospective dates. We all have a desire to go out with people we find physically attractive. There is no better way to attract someone who finds you attractive than by posting several good photos.
A picture says a thousand words. No matter how descriptive and witty you are with your personal description, many people will not even consider someone who does not include a photo. Very few of us are model material but that doesn't mean we can't take a good picture. If you think by not posting a photo, someone will get to know the real you before they see you, you are only kidding yourself. The real you includes what you look like.
So how do you post a good photo? The best thing to do is post several pictures that show the real you. You need a series of photos that include: a face shot-people want to see your smile, they want to see your eyes. A nice smile and a sparkle in your eyes will go along way towards attracting a compatible person.
A full body photo, so you are built average or a few extra pounds, far better to flaunt it and be up front about it than catch someone by total surprise. The best photos are natural, not too posed that show us in a good light. A professional photo is a nice addition, you can have a portrait taken at Target or Walmart for very little cost. Glamour photos are nice but they really don't show the true you. Photos that show you doing something such as your trip to Mexico or out hiking, also tell more about who you are. More than one photo reveals even more about you and your interests.
Very few people post more than one or two photos. With the majority of people posting bad photos, you will be way ahead of the competition by posting several great photos. Your profile will really stand out. A portrait, a full body shot and some fun photos are all good choices. Web cam photos, photos with your ex cut out, mug shots, photos of you with your arm around a member of the opposite sex even if they are related are a poor choice. A person looking at your photo doesn't know who the person is. Avoid shots that are so dark or distant that no one can see your face. Don't use photos that are blurry or out of focus. And don't cover up or hide your face. Don't use group photos. You don't need someone writing to you asking if your blond friend is available! It is your choice if you want to post photos that include you with your children. On one hand it is nice to see the most important people in your life but if you would rather protect their privacy than you can leave them off.
Ideas for getting a good photo include:
* Have a friend with a digital camera take a series of photos of you in a variety of settings, outfits, etc. and then choose the best 2-8.
* Don't use your high school graduation picture from 1988.
* Don't use any photo no matter how good it is, if it is older than a year.
* Don't use a photo that shows you 50lbs lighter or back when you had hair. Russian brides
* Don't use any photo that doesn't look like you today.
* Don't use photos of your pets only or pictures of you on the sofa with kids or pets that are not yours, it may turn some people off.
People looking at your ad want to know the current you and your photos should reflect that. Don't use 5 photos where you look totally different in each one. Is this the same person or different people? When it comes to meeting you in person you should look like the photos you posted.
The golden rule when posting photos on dating sites is obvious - Be Honest. We've all heard stories of people who've posted a photo that is ten or twenty years old. Or worse still, a photo of someone else entirely!
A misleading photo causes all sorts of unnecessary problems on a first date. You will have your date questioning your honesty. You want to turn up for dates relaxed, with your best attitude put forward. Still not convinced? Just think how you would feel, if someone using a dishonest photo deceived you? That should be incentive enough for you to be honest and accurate.
So what if you've gained a few pounds? Aged a bit? Give yourself some credit, you're still a great person, and sure to be someone's ideal match. Physical attraction is a very personal thing. Some people may be attracted to you for your smile or that sparkle in your eye and they may actually like your "love handles". Don't be afraid to let people know the real you. None of us are perfect. Attitude counts for far more than a perfect body.
Posting accurate current pictures is the only way to go for online dating success.
Getting a russian girl of your dreams is much like getting the car of your dream. But unlike a car which you can always bargain for, there is nothing like a 20 percent discount in courting the girl of your dreams, she's so sweet a thing to be discounted, you dearly are in love with her and your feelings for her can only be communicated not by the words of the mouth, but by the words of the heart. Getting the girl actually depends on how big your heart is - faint heart, never won fair lady.
The first step in the heart-winning exercise for any man is to make a good impression. In your doing so, you don't have to talk, dress or do the common things that all the Toms do to get a decent girl's attention. Be unique, that's all you need. Be a man of his own style. Dress decently - indecency can make one be mistaken for arrogance; watch your language - obscene language gives the impression of immaturity, being uncultured and cheap; be a man of good habits - don't drink or smoke like any other loser.
Let her fall in love gradually. Romance is an important part of falling in love. When in College I had a crush on the most beautiful lady in our first year lot. Though all senior guys were out to get that girl, I managed to divert her attention from the other guys. I wrote her three letters without disclosing my identity and slid into her room secretly; all I said was 'Yours Secret Admirer.' The first letter contained the meaning of her name, this I got by playing around with the initials of her name to make meaning. The second was a funny message that could only be read backwards and it was all about her physique and her smartness. In the third letter I told the girl to be ready to receive a rose flower from her admirer, but only if she could be kind enough to phone him using a number that I had included in the letter. The girl did phone me that very night, and her first words to me were, "Hallo Secret Admirer." So, the story of our love affair came to be. Later she told me that was so creative of me, no one had approached her in that manner. I made her fall in love with me in the romantic manner.
Befriending and understanding the girl you are out to get is the next important thing. This is what I also did. You have to understand that as a lady, she loves to be loved, adores to be adored and needs to be needed. This will move you closer to the girl and you'll get to know what she's into, what she likes and dislikes, and what her style is. Love is built upon friendship and it always leaves individuals better off having known each other should they break up. I and my College steady were to break some time later but to date, we are the best of buddies. Be sure that bringing out the selflessness friend in you will make her create room for you in her heart.
A shoulder to lean on and some good friend that she can always turn to is all that a lady wants. Please don't hesitate to be helpful and supportive. Be that friend who rekindles her zeal of hardworking and restoring hope back into her life when she looses hope. This above all other things will make you her daily vitamin simply because you bring out the best in her in terms of personality and character. In you, she'll have found that friend whom she can open up to, share with and advice each other on the rights and wrongs, the dos and don'ts of life. Don't forget to always be there to celebrate the good times, and to lend an ear when the girl needs you to listen as a friend.
Make the girl feel special; because she's someone's friend - your friend, and let her know that she too has touched your life in a unique way like no one else could. Compliment her for her company and for being there when you needed her, when you felt sad and all alone. Show appreciations for the comfort the girl offers you and for making you smile.
In your day to day talks, share your dreams, your world, and every aspect of your life with your girl. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her. Tell your girl how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Let the girl know that she's your first thing in the morning and the last thing when you go to bed at night.
Her knowing that you were thinking of her when you slipped beneath the softness of your blanket and gave in to the bliss of sweet dreams, will make her go 'my my' and her heart will sing your name all the year round.
You have to be creative and constructive to keep girl's interest in you so full of life. I remember one time I told my girlfriend to be to imagine we are both deaf and dump. We then sat opposite each other on the table and started sharing our feelings for each other using eyes and hand signs. It turned out to be some fun. There was also this time that we were in the library and we decided we are not going to speak to each other verbal, so I wrote a love note on a paper and passed it across the table to her, she replied and on and on we carried on our love on paper conversation till we almost exhausted a whole rim of paper. At sometime, I noticed that some guys sited with us on the table were enjoying our ordeal than their studies. Such are the things that made the girl embrace my world. I remember her suggesting that we play deaf and dump two years after we broke up, can you imagine that?
Never fail to phone her, even when she least expects it. I once called some girl that I was interested in at four o'clock in the morning. When inquiring of what I was doing up so early, I told her I was in thirteenth heaven, where people think of their loved ones when they can't sleep. Wow! First thing early the next morning, she was at my door with a king-sized hug for me. No matter how many dates you take her, don't make any elbow - exceeding moves after any date, just drop her home and with a friendly handshake, wish her good night. Don't kiss her when she expects you to. Your respect as a gentleman will be earned on how patient you are with her when it comes to such matters as kissing her and accessing her inner graces.
The writing is on the wall that you want her, but you can't have her just yet. Increase your demand. Try to show her that men are also hard to get at times. Make her realize that when she feels a little dizzy, a little tired, a little sad, a little sick, a lot bored and very much cold, she's actually missing vitamin you. By this time, she'll be so much into you and since love is truthful and is characterized by open and honest communication, honestly promise her your everlasting devotion, loyalty, respect, and your unconditional love for a lifetime. Prove to her that you'll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you'll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.
Remember, patience is the key to her heart; be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten.
The patience and self-control which you practice will make you more attractive and charming. This will qualify you as her daily vitamin and win you that heart hers.
I wish you to meet the girl of your dreams ASAP, make her fall in love with you, and make her feel the happiest ukrainian girl in the world!
It's a fact of life for the modern single woman, committing to someone other than themselves is scary stuff. Commitment means compromise.
I often hear women complaining that there are no eligible men anymore and that they struggle to find anyone who matches up to their most basic requirements as a mate. Think about this, you rarely hear a man saying that there are no eligible women anymore, though they may argue there are too many highly selective women. No, this lack of commitment used to be an accusation thrown at men wary of marriage, but these days you are more likely to find a woman with a good job who has taken over this role as the wary one.
I know lots of eligible men. They are young, unmarried, good looking, single, with good careers, lifestyles, are fit and healthy and looking for a serious relationship. In fact most men I know are serial monogamists! I asked one of my friends, Sean, 32, about whether he felt that the modern women he met were ready to commit and he said:
" I have wanted to settle down for a long time now, but women are too interested in their careers, want a casual lover with a fat wallet and nice car, or are simply too scared of the commitment levels required to live with someone. It seems to me, women just aren't ready to compromise their new found strengths and are very frightened of monogamy. Every time I have attempted to have a serious relationship, it is the girl who has panicked when things become more intense."
Sociologically, this is an interesting development and Sean's view is not alone. The fact is, there is a huge pool of resourceful, talented men out there ready to commit, but they are really struggling to find partners. Its important to note that there is no great difference in the number of single, available men and women and so we don't face an imbalance. So what is going wrong?
Well first of all, we have to consider social change. The social emancipation of women has been refreshingly vital in the last 15 years. Salaries for women have increased in many sectors, more women than men appear to be excelling academically and have moved into the mainstay career domain. A career has meant financial liberation allowing women to purchase their own apartments and cars and whole self-sufficient lifestyle unheard of two generations previously. Women are able to conceive later and they have a sexual liberty unparalleled in modern society. Indeed some men I interviewed saw women now as the main sexual aggressor and were "frightened of them." Women have become dominant in some areas and men are on the retreat, uncertain of their new role and what it may entail. Whilst I appreciate this may not be true in some of the smaller communities, the trend for city dwelling women confirms this general trend.
Marriage has become a taboo subject for many women, seeing it as a role for the subjugated with one-sided compromises that are just not worth taking on board. The average of marriage for a western woman has now increased from the early twenties to almost the early thirties, certainly 29 being a key age for many. Women instead have replaced early marriage with self fulfillment, meaningful life-content and career-path progression. This in turn means that a woman becomes instinctively very choosey about any life-partner who may interrupt this comfortable world.
In the meantime, men are struggling and perhaps seen as increasingly pathetic in their needy overtures. This is all too obvious in TV ad campaigns currently running. Whilst a man fights desperately to keep his loved-one, the woman has other ideas about where she sees herself ten years from now. It may well be settled with children, it may well be as a tax exile in the Bahamas, it may well be independent, financially astute and driven as well as successful. But she isn't going to take any old man along for the ride. She wants her man to shape up or ship out. And rightly so.
It is clear that relationships boundaries have moved. Many career women will not compromise their jobs for the sake of a relationship. It is as likely a man will move for his girlfriend , than she for him. With career comes financial independence and like it or not, many women struggle to understand that men were brought up to feel like the breadwinner. This is likely to relate back to the hunter-gatherer of human evolution so cannot be excused so dismissively. However, as many women excel in their given careers, so the man has to come to terms with the fact that he may not be the primary breadwinner any more. Indeed he may be more likely to stay at home and rear the children.
The red-blooded male is in a quandary. The media and Hollywood send him many different confusing signals as to how he should act and react. The problem here is that as yet no final solution has resolved. Women's lives have become dynamic and men are slow to react and evolve alongside. Consequently we can explain the reactionary rise of the Laddish culture alledgedly portrayed in magazines such as Loaded, FHM and via Jackass TV. Where a man cannot find his own sense of identity within a relationship, so he has divorced himself from considering relationship evolution. Be careful however, this is not to take on board the difficult situation modern men find themselves in with women.
As women evolve their own independence during their twenties, so they become sophisticated consumers and have acute sense of taste. Far more so than many men. This in turn means that they know exactly what they are looking for when you come along to ask them on a date. Get it right and you may be selected, get it wrong and you will be dumped without hesitation. And no, you may not be for keeps. The sophisticated new woman will often therefore see any committed relationship as similar to giving something up. You will often hear women say that they are seeking a man who will "compliment" their lives and add to their life experiences. There is no suggestion of compromise on their behalf however.
Women are also acutely aware that men cost women and can drain their emotional and financial wealth. A man can be hard work if he is not himself already emotionally self-sufficient. I am sorry to say it guys, but a lot of you are a little too emotionally needy as yet. This may relate to the current state of male self confidence in a world of increasingly dominant women. Women now value their freedom to express themselves sexually as never before and this certainly causes men a problem. TV shows like Sex and the City have covered almost every bastion of sexual discussion that men often feel uncomfortable with. Whilst women move forward increasingly confident in their own sexual behavior ands needs, men are struggling to take on the open mindedness required. Ask many men about the subject of oral or anal sex for example and they will run a mile. Men always thought sex was their domain, now the hunter has become the hunted.
Children is a key ingredient in the equation because however successful and confident the modern woman is, her biological clock may still tick. First of all its important to stress that some women are now happy to admit they never wish to have children, which is a change from previous generations. Some women are happy to admit they never wish to marry. But for those seeking children in their thirties, they have more options than merely seeking a stable semi-permanent relationship. Whereas men may have run from such a responsibility previously, now they are fighting to maintain it. If they can be replaced by a fertility clinic, they may be in trouble.
I don't have the answers to this issue, but I do see that women are increasingly dominant in relationships, whilst the men have simply lost their way. Whilst a woman may want her man to act like a man, it is a man with conditions. Whereas before a man could call the shots, now he must listen carefully if its not he who ends up being left on the shelf. It may not be that ukrainian women can't commit, it may simply be that they don't have to anymore.
If you listen to a group of attractive, single women talking alone over dinner or drinks, the topic will always turn to MEN.
And in most cases, it will eventually turn into a RANT session about how hard it is to find good men to date...
Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about men in general...
...And wind up with a detailed list of all the traits guys have that are ANNOYING AS HELL.
The reality is that single women have an entire laundry list of traits, qualities, and characteristics that they HATE in single guys.
Did you know this?
I didn't think so.
Well, the truth is that up until a few years ago, I didn't know this either.
So take heart in the idea that you're about to learn something that most men on this planet will DIE not knowing.
My hope is that what I'm about to share with you will change how you interact with women FOREVER... and help you meet and date more of the kinds of women you're interested in.
FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE
For women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They are NOT the same.
One can lead to another, but it's RARE when it happens.
One CAN lead to another, but it's RARE.
"Romantic" relationships are very different from "friend" relationships.
While most men would sleep with most of their female "friends" if the woman "came on" to them, most women would NOT sleep with most men that they consider "just friends".
But why is this?
How do women differentiate between "just friends" and "I'll be intimate with you"?
And why is it so hard to become "more than friends" with a woman you've been "just friends" with for a long time?
The answer to this riddle is very interesting to me.
I believe that the answer comes down to understanding HOW women "know" when they want to "be intimate" with a man... and, even MORE importantly, understanding how women "know" when they DON'T want to "be intimate" with a man...
The thing that tells a woman whether the guy she's with is "friend" material or "lover" material is how she FEELS.
It's a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and PHYSICAL feelings.
It is NOT logic.
She might USE logic to "rationalize" her decision... or she might USE logic to SOUND like she has a good reason for either "being with" or "not being with" a particular guy.
But don't let that distract you.
Logic isn't important AT ALL in this context.
So let me say this another way.
A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the basis for her "decisions" and actions with a particular guy.
If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will probably not be that she wants to date the guy in question.
If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here" feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will probably be that this guy is interesting and attractive, and a good "choice" to date. At this point she'll take ACTION on her feelings and thoughts...
It goes like this:
First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT... and THEN the action.
Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an important question:
How do most guys behave around women that they're "romantically" interested in?
What do they do to get the woman that's the object of their desires to be with them?
Take a few minutes to think about this. Make a list if you have paper and pen handy.
I'm serious. I'll wait.
Come back when you're finished.
Now take a look at your list.
I'll bet that almost every single thing on your list was something "external".
In other words, your list probably contains things like "Take her to dinner" and "Give her compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and "Call her often".
These are all things that demonstrate that he's INTERESTED.
They are NOT things that trigger those emotional and physical feelings inside of a woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY.
In other words, men try to use "props" to LET A WOMAN KNOW HE'S INTERESTED...
...HOPING that when the woman sees these displays she'll be interested in him.
Almost NONE of the things men do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely similar to "Attraction" and "Arousal".
Of course, you know this.
You've probably done this stuff about a bazillion times. I have, too. I know what it's like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular woman know that I'm interested... only to have her NOT RESPOND in a "romantic" way.
The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.
First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to go. Telling or showing a woman that you "like her" has no effect on how she feels about YOU.
In the moment it sure seems to make sense... "If I show her how I feel, she'll return the feelings".
Like I said, it seems like the right thing to do in the moment (when your inner little girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it will have NO effect on her feelings for you.
And second, it communicates clearly that YOU DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY that you're not hip to what's going... and it kills your chances with her.
You mean that doing nice things for women, and trying to show how you feel can actually HURT your chances with a woman?
Yea, it can.
Look, if you've been dating a woman exclusively for six months, and her birthday comes... it's OK to buy her a gift and tell her that you like spending time with her.
YOU'RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP.
But if you've known a woman for six DAYS and you try this kind of thing, you're going to shoot yourself in the foot.
Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who DON'T GET IT. And if you DON'T get it, PLUS you're trying to compensate for the fact that you don't get it with gifts and compliments, then you're REALLY screwed (or not screwed, as the case may be).
Remember what I'm about to tell you.
Burn it into your mind.
Write it on a sticky-note and put it on your computer monitor...
SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY KNOW WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN'T "GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING AND TRYING.
Keep in mind that single, attractive women watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They shake their pretty heads and say "He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it" over and over and over.
The point is that if you DON'T GET IT, then nothing you do is going to work for you.
The problem is bigger than you can imagine, and you're going to need to take a totally different road to get where you're going...
WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST ABOUT SINGLE GUYS...
Let's return to where we started.
There are a few particular things that REALLY annoy single, attractive women.
One of the reasons that these things annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS.
A woman can like everything about you, but if you do these things (or even ONE of these things), it can DESTROY your chances of success with a particular woman.
Here are a few of the BIG things that single women hate:
1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For Her Attention And Approval
If I had to describe the one single thing that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's chances, it would be this.
It has taken me a long time to see this particular pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.
Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your approval and attention. I'm willing to let YOU be the one who's in control... and let YOU call the shots... and do anything to please YOU... if you'll give me your attention and approval".
But the problem is that women DON'T WANT you to give up your status and "manliness".
Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act weak and tentative.
Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to demonstrate that he'll give away his power in return for approval.
THEY HATE IT!
I could literally write an entire book on this one single concept.
Take a few minutes to think this one over, and maybe write down the ways that you make this mistake with women.
More importantly, think about how you're going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.
2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure
When one person "clings" to another person "psychologically", the person who is being "clinged to" RESENTS and REJECTS the needy, clingy emotional parasite...
This is WUSS behavior at its worst.
If a guy is on the phone with a girl he just met, and she says "Hey, I have to go", he might say "Aw, well... um... OK. Um, will you call me when you get home?".
Or let's say a guy and a girl are out on their first date, and they're walking around in a large department store.
Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, and not leave her side for a minute.
If she wanders away, he'll come find her IMMEDIATELY.
He'll stay physically close to her, as if he's afraid she'll leave without him.
And an even worse example is a guy who is so emotionally insecure that he actually ASKS a woman to tell him that he's nice, fun, interesting, etc.
"Do you think I'm interesting?"
"Do you think we could ever have a relationship?"
"Am I your type?"
Women HATE this stuff. It makes them shiver with the heebie-jeebies. It makes them want to RUN AWAY.
3) Not Leading - And Even Worse, Trying To Get Her To Lead
Women have WUSS-DAR.
One of the things that triggers a woman's WUSS-DAR is a man who FOLLOWS.
The REAL problem is that most women won't try to LEAD naturally.
So you've got a situation where a man is trying to FOLLOW a woman who isn't LEADING.
He's looking for little cues so he knows where to go and what to do... but he isn't getting them.
So what does he do?
He ASKS for them!
He says "So, I was thinking of maybe taking you to Olive Garden for dinner... how does that sound?".
Everything about the way he asks says to the woman "I'm trying to figure out what you want me to do... please help me know how you want me to act, where you want me to take you, and what you want me to say".
This is ATTRACTION DEATH!
men who don't lead, and even worse, try to get a woman to lead, ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF SINGLE WOMEN.
They HATE IT!
4) Using Insecure, Approval-Seeking, Low-Status Posture, Gestures, Voice Tone, And Body Language
There's a term that single, attractive, in-demand women use to describe men who use weak, approval-seeking posture, gestures, comments, and mannerisms...
The term is "NICE".
"He's nice... but... there's no chemistry."
This is one of those areas that's not easy to talk about.
Since SO DAMN MANY GUYS do this stuff, it's almost impossible to explain.
It's like trying to tell a fish that they're not going to get anywhere in life if they stay wet.
The fish doesn't even KNOW it's wet in the first place.
But let me try.
This is important.
Go spend a day observing couples.
Go places where couples that have just met spend time together.
Bars, clubs, coffee shops, whatever.
Now watch the GUYS.
Watch how they lean towards the women.
Watch how they raise their eyebrows in exaggerated response to women's comments.
Watch how they slump over, let their shoulders fall forward, and smile fake-ly at whatever the women say.
If you're close enough, listen to how men ask questions and make comments with a voice tone that says "I'm insecure and I'm trying to be extra nice to compensate for it".
You'll see it EVERYWHERE.
In fact, you'll see it so much that you'll probably write me back to tell me that I'm the one who's crazy, and that since it happens so much, it must be "the right way".
Well, it's not.
If there's one thing that triggers an attractive single woman's WUSS-DAR, it's a man's posture, gestures, eye contact, voice tone, etc.
It all happens in an INSTANT.
Women read this stuff and interpret it as instantly and accurately as you read and interpret the cover of Playboy.
NO ANALYSIS NECESSARY.
I'd say that probably 90% of all men alive today INSTANTLY disqualify themselves with women because of this problem.
Their voice tone, gestures, posture, etc. TELEGRAPH the message that they're a WUSS.
They do a thousand weird little things to let a woman know that they're uncomfortable and "not being themselves".
And you guessed it...
Single women HATE IT!
5) Not Understanding That She's A Woman And You're A Man
I'm about to get philosophical on your ass, so be cool.
When it comes down to it, most men don't understand women.
But the REAL kicker is that most men don't understand MEN, either!
Most guys don't know what it's like to get in touch with their MALE NATURE.
Combine these two issues, and you get a guy who behaves in ways that DO NOT trigger ATTRACTION in women.
Women have a "nature". A female nature.
Men also have a "nature". You guessed it, it's a MALE nature.
Women are coy. They like to play hard to get. They like to enjoy the chase. They love anticipation. They love to "let a guy catch them"...
Men are competitive. Men are dominant. Men like to play rough games, win things, and rule their territory.
Well guess what?
Most men don't BEHAVE like men when they're in the presence of a woman that they "like".
And since most men don't understand female human nature, they don't demonstrate that they "get it" when they're with women that they "like".
Women like men. Men like women. There are POWERFUL causes at play here.
When you're around a woman you like, don't act like a GIRLY-MAN. It's not sexy, and it's not attractive...
And single women HATE IT!
6) Not Being Interesting To Be Around
Underneath most behavior that I see most guys acting out is a "core belief" that goes like this:
"I don't believe that an attractive woman would want to be around me just because she enjoys my presence... so I make up for it by saying and doing certain things that I hope she'll enjoy... and if she enjoys those other things enough, then maybe she'll want to spend more time with me."
Well guess what? Most attractive single women KNOW that if a guy isn't interesting to be around, they she's eventually going to go CRAZY being around him.
In other words, no amount of material gifts, compliments, dinners, and other "displays" will EVER compensate for a lack of BEING INTERESTING.
Here's a profound thought:
I and several other guys I know have many women who call us often... just because they enjoy being around us.
These women would be happy just to be in the same room with us... and enjoy our company.
And yes, these women CALL US.
Material gifts, food, flowers, and other "displays" have ZERO lasting value to a woman when it comes to how she FEELS about you...
An attractive single woman wants a guy who LIGHTS HER UP. She wants to FEEL GOOD.
She wants mystery... she wants to laugh... she wants a challenge... she wants sexual tension...
If you're using compliments, gifts, food, and other "displays" to get a woman's attention... you need to ask yourself a tough question:
Is it because you don't believe that a woman would want to be around you just to be around you?
Because if you don't know how to be INTERESTING to a woman, then no amount of compensation is going to fix the problem.
If you're boring, predictable, and uninteresting, then you're never going to have women calling YOU to hang out.
Oh, and women HATE IT.
7) Not Understanding Attraction
This is a BIGGIE.
You hear me talking about it all the time, right?
Maybe now that you've read this newsletter you'll have a better context to understand what I'm about to tell you...
If you "get it" with women, it's SUPER INTERESTING and ATTRACTIVE to them.
Women can INSTANTLY FEEL IT when they're with a guy who "gets it".
Women know very quickly if they're talking to a guy who understands himself and women... and who enjoys creating and building sexual tension.
Women know if a guy speaks the SECRET LANGUAGE of "Sexual Communication".
If he doesn't, then she stops all communication on that level.
If he does, then it continues.
ATTRACTION Isn't A Choice.
Attraction is an emotional and physical RESPONSE... and you can't "convince" a woman to feel it with logic, gifts, and NICENESS.
Attraction is the result of a woman meeting a man who understands how attraction works... and who knows what to do in each specific situation to progress to the next level.
The PROBLEM with ATTRACTION, and with success with women in general is that the things you need to DO to be successful are NOT OBVIOUS.
They're "counter intuitive", in many cases.
In other words, they're the OPPOSITE of what you'd THINK would make sense.
You have to do things like CREATE TENSION... stop doing something that she likes... give her time to miss you... etc.
And if you don't understand ATTRACTION, a woman is going to KNOW IT.
And guess what?
Single women HATE IT when a man doesn't understand ATTRACTION and how to communicate on this "other level".
Now that I've shared the mistakes, you need the next piece of the puzzle. You need to get an education on how attraction works for women... and the RIGHT things to do up front to give her those emotional/physical feelings inside.
Right now you're probably feeling that excited "Ah Ha!" feeling.
That's because you understand something at a different level... you've used your mind to understand something complex... and you feel good about bettering yourself.
Well this is just the TIP of the iceberg.
As educational as this has been, this is only the beginning.
If you're starting to realize how important it is to get this area of your life handled, then I recommend you make a commitment and take your education to a WORLD CLASS level.
And what's the best way to do that?
Well, I've spent the last several years of my life figuring out exactly what does and doesn't work with women.
I figured this stuff out for MYSELF... and then I took what I've learned and put it all together to help others learn as well.